At Christmas, one of the many gifts I received was a dish towel with the following verse printed on it: “Life’s journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, ‘Holy Cow, What a Ride!’” I decided not to use it for drying dishes, but instead I leave it hanging on the oven door rack.

Many times as I sit there having a snack at the bar, I have read and reread this reminding myself of “what a ride” my life has been. I have shared so many of my experiences in previous stories and sometimes I can’t remember if I’ve already told something. So if you have read about these before, please indulge my forgetfulness. Just looking at the oven door is a reminder of one experience that I would rather forget. Right after I got my current power wheelchair, I turned the chair to the left and hit the front of the oven glass and it exploded into hundreds of pieces. Once I got that all cleaned up, I called the company to see if it was still safe to use that oven. I was warned that it was okay but to be very careful not to touch it when the oven is on.

A lot of people have asked why I didn’t buy a new stove. Well, at that time I didn’t really use the stove a lot and I didn’t have to worry about children touching the oven and new stoves are expensive. So that was just one of the many “holy cow” rides that I have experienced. Now I have gotten used to looking at the stove, so it no longer bothers me as anything worth worrying about.

Then there was the recent event when I was sitting in front of the computer and something fell out of the bottom of the power wheelchair. I had no idea what was wrong, but I could not move the wheelchair. Talk about a “ride.” The following happenings have really been “episodes to remember.” Fortunately, I had the telephone in the pocket of the chair and I called my reliable mechanic friend, and it so happened he was able to come over immediately.

He fixed the chair so that I could move it, but I had to locate servicemen to come out and solve the problem. Since the store Medicare purchased the wheelchair from has declared bankruptcy, I had to ask Medicare what to do and where to go for assistance. … You would not believe what a “ride” has resulted from this. You will need to “stay tuned” for the end results of this as it is not settled yet and will end up being a story of its own. I will probably be “totally worn out” and shouting “what a ride” when these issues are resolved.

Just recently, once again (I’ve forgotten how many times before), I received a letter from the Department of Motor Vehicles requiring that I have another medical form filled out by my doctor so that I can drive “legally” in the land of the midnight sun. This is one of those things from the past that is difficult for me to forgive and forget. I called and explained that I no longer have a vehicle, nor am I driving, but was told I would need to surrender my license. I’m not sure if I will hear back from them, but I paid for the license and I do use it for identification purposes. Then it was really ridiculous when the lady said I could go to the license division and get an identification card. Holy cow, how do they expect me to do that when I don’t drive or own a vehicle! My patience is wearing rather thin over “honesty is the best policy” or “ignorance of the law is no excuse.” There was a time when I should have answered “NO.”

I suppose the reason I have some resentment here is because there are so many people driving without a license or insurance and they never seem to get caught. This is one more reason that I knew when it was time for me to quit driving and sell my handicapped conversion van. I am just about “totally worn out” with unfair episodes involving our state Medical Review Board.

Because of the length, I will close by saying that I will not arrive safely at the grave if my wishes are followed. I prefer to donate my body to the North Carolina School of Medicine. Someone there will probably think, “Holy Cow, what a ride this body has been through.”