Elizabeth Cook: A wedding that money cannot buy
Published 12:00 am Sunday, October 4, 2015
Bethany Davidson and Caleb Hanby won a $100,000 wedding from a Nashville radio station in August. They planned to be married a week from today.
Instead they were wed on Sept. 24 in the intensive care unit of Vanderbilt University Medical Center. Yesterday, family and friends gathered for Caleb’s funeral. He was 28.
Priceless is not a powerful enough word to describe the vows Bethany and Caleb exchanged as he lay in his hospital bed. Heartfelt. Loving. Sacred.
Dream weddings are nice, but it’s hard to imagine a more meaningful ceremony.
The Post published a story in August about the prize wedding Bethany and Caleb had won, thanks to the essay a friend submitted to the radio station on their behalf.
For Bethany, Caleb and their families, the contest news was a brief respite from what had been a steady stream of bad news.
The rest of the story unfolded over the past two weeks. There would be no lavish ceremony in an elegant venue, no first dance to the singing of a rising country music star.
But there would be love.
Bethany grew up in Salisbury, the daughter of Toni and Dennis Davidson, the Post’s sports editor. Bethany graduated from Salisbury High School and Catawba College, and she was working at Prairie Life Fitness in Nashville when she met this tall, good-looking guy named Caleb at work.
He was shy, but one evening in the summer of 2014 he joined a group celebrating Bethany’s birthday. “There was a spark,” Bethany told a Post reporter. “We’ve been inseparable ever since.”
A few months after they started dating, doctors diagnosed a rare cancer in the connective tissue of Caleb’s jaw. What started as an ache — and was first diagnosed as TMJ — developed into a tumor that quickly grew.
After the cancer diagnosis, they anticipated a year of radiation and chemotherapy. Then the prognosis worsened.
Love flourished, nevertheless, and Bethany stayed by Caleb’s side. They became engaged on Aug. 3 as they floated above earthly cares in a hot air balloon. Soon after, they won the radio contest and started making wedding plans.
Despite expert care, second opinions and cutting-edge proton treatments, nothing could stop the tumor that disfigured the left side of Caleb’s face and broke his jaw. He had difficulty eating and lost weight.
A rushed trip to the emergency department in late September made the young couple realize they might have less time than they thought. They decided to get married then and there.
Fortunately, someone thought to video the service that quickly came together. Relatives and hospital staff drew close as Bethany took Caleb’s hand and the ceremony began.
A story in the Tennessean newspaper captures the mood:
She carried a bouquet of yellow sunflowers, white carnations and red roses. He had a single red rose.
It rested on top of his white hospital gown, rising and falling to the rhythm of his labored breath.
“We’re celebrating love today,” the minister began, “… it’s a beautiful thing, and it’s a useful thing.”
“It gives hope, it gives us confidence. And it gives us a reason.”
It feels like an intrusion to write about Caleb and Bethany. They found each other and fell in love; this is their private story.
But they did something that has touched thousands of people, from Facebook friends to Nashville newspaper readers and beyond. As Caleb was nearing the end of his days, he and Bethany joined hands and declared their love. Then Bethany had a few more words to say. The ones that stuck with me were, “Hey, handsome.”
Caleb, a shadow of his old self, looked back at her.
The bride wore a sweatshirt. But if she’d walked up a church aisle in a custom-made wedding gown, Bethany could not have been more beautiful — not to Caleb, nor to anyone else.
Elizabeth Cook is editor of the Salisbury Post. To learn more about Caleb and Bethany, go to the Prayers for Caleb page on Facebook or www.gofundme.com/CalebHanby.