• 32°

Whitey Harwood: Praise the Lord and pass the biscuits

By Whitey Harwood

Right after Christmas 2019, this opinion by Ada Fisher, “Free will means you can’t force agreement” was in the Salisbury Post.

I tried to read it then, but I got lost and was thinking we, (Ada Fisher and myself) ain’t got nothing in common. We are as about as opposite as two people can get.

I thought I had recycled that paper, but last night (Jan. 28) while I was looking for some souse meat and some ‘possum grease to fry it in, I found it. The Free Will story.

After a fine supper, I decided to try reading it again. And I’m glad I did.

I realized we had more in common than I first thought.

After getting lost for the second time, I deduced that the editor must help her with her writings, too, like he does me.

The second thing we have in common, we both worked at the VAMC

Ada retired as a physician, so she is certified as a medical doctor or a M.D.

I retired as a housekeeper, so I was qualified as a m.d., or a “mop dragger.”

The third thing we have in common, we both try writing for the Salisbury Post.

She writes about religion and politicians.

I write about Mother Earth and ‘possums, so I reckon we are sorta writin’ about the same things.

But, when she wrote this, “Whether I agree with folks and their religious beliefs is irrelevant; I always have the freedom to remove myself from their congregations if I disagree with their philosophy,” I figured it was time to break out the pen and work on my PTSD again.

So at this point in time, I would love to share this little story I heard years ago with the rest of the readers and smellers of the Salisbury Post.

This “feller” was stranded on a deserted island for 15 years. Every day, with his knife, he would mark the new day on the trees, so he could keep up with the days and years. And he prayed.

One day he spotted a boat headed for the island. He went running toward the water with both arms extended to the heavens and ashoutin’, “My prayers have been answered. My prayers have been answered.”

The boat pulls up to the shore and the captain steps off and asks. “What’s goin’ on here.”

The rescued Christian (we’ll call him R.C.) was so excited he could hardly speak, but he finally got it out.

R.C: “I’m so happy to finally see someone. I didn’t think I would ever be rescued!”

Captain: “How long you been here?”

R.C: I’ve been here 15 years by myself. I haven’t seen another human being all that time.”

Captain: “You sure you’ve been here all that time by yourself?”

R.C: “Yes, sir! You can count it off for yourself. I’ve marked down every day on those trees over there.”

Captain: “Yeah, but if you’ve been here all that time and it’s just you, what are all those buildings over there?”

R.C.: “Well, that first building there, that’s my house. That’s where I live.”

Captain: “So, what’s that second building for?”

R.C.: “Oh, that’s my church. That’s where I go to church.”

Captain: “OK, what’s that third building over there?”

R.C.: “Oh, that’s where I used to go to church.”

Keep on smilin’ and eat more souse meat for supper.

 

Comments

High School

Area Sports: North boys advance to third round

College

Loss to W-S State at CIAA Tournament ends Livingstone’s season

Local

Man who fell off 75-foot bridge reunited with rescuers

Education

Fifth-graders defend U.S. Constitution for class project

Local

Alcorn, Bates, Molrine receive Elizabeth Duncan Koontz Humanitarian Awards

Education

Psychologist visits Salisbury Academy to discuss ways of coping with childhood anxiety

Columns

Ann Farabee: Get set

Faith

Faith Briefs Feb. 28-March 1

Local

Posters Feb. 28

Local

Local health department keeps vigilant for coronavirus, though risk remains low

Local

Post named second-best midsize daily paper, wins 28 awards

Faith

14th annual CHAOS Youth Theater this weekend

High School

HS basketball: Carson girls battle to win over Asheville

High School

Salisbury girls cruise to second-round win over Wilkes Central

Sports

Tom Lewis, Harris English ride exemptions to early Honda Classic lead

Sports

MLB appoints 1st African American umpire crew chief

Racing

Auto racing at-a-glance: Cup series in Fontana

Sports

Cowboy Up: MadBum solid in first outing with Diamondbacks

Sports

MLS embarks on 25th season by looking back, and forward

Sports

Braves’ Foltynewicz ready to put 2019 season behind him

Entertainment

It’s a sad and funny ‘Trip to Bountiful’ from St. Thomas Players

Check this out

Rowan weather: Sunshine and wind

Local

Forward 2040 committee gets input from citizens

News

Cooper, Forest will need primary wins before expected showdown