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Clyde: Call COVID-19 what you like

By Clyde

Here are some metaphors for the COVID-19 outbreak:

  Another bump in the road construction on the well-traveled Newsome Road path.

  A twist in the ribbon of life at the Stitchin’ Post.

  A clogged drain in the playing fountain at Gateway Park.

  A turn for the worst in the day in the life of the Cheerwine Festival.

• The unknown visitor that rides airborne in the wind section of the symphony.

• God’s revenge for the sins of the fathers of the First Presbyterian congregation.

• Recurrent nightmare that comes true every other day or two at the Salisbury Post.

• Cause for cessation of all travel to the visitor center for reservations.

• End of stock options that would no longer be an option for Mr. Holmes.

• Last page for scrapbooks and snapshots at the Traveler’s Club.

• Big discouragement for excited entrepreneurs like La Pasta and Carpe Vinum.

• Scary risk for more four-hour-long contagious meetings at City Hall.

•Catalyst for books, plays and movie scripts for John Hart.

• Goal for future scientist at Salisbury Academy to find a vaccine.

• Job where the weak-hearted need not apply for emergency medical technician.

• Victim advocates’ loss for explanation at Rowan Medical Center.

• Final curtain for extravagant productions at the Meroney.

• Topic for international discussion at the Checkered Flag Breakfast Club.

• All the more reason for celebrating at City Tavern when it’s all over.

• Time period to wax nostalgic at Genesis.

• A war like no one has ever lived through for Norman Sloop and other veterans.

• Excuse for loners to never leave home again — insert your name here _____________.

• Dora the fortune teller’s vision for plagues to come.

  New entry for cause of death on certificates at the Register of Deeds.

•Opportunity for Fine Frame to catch up on back orders.

•Pause to consider lessons from World War I and the past at the Rowan Museum.

• A boondoggle for trivial activity, crafts, puzzles and games in the garage.

• Deprivation for dating sites and the chance for Jeff to meet up with a life partner

• Diversion from postponed court cases on the docket for Mr. Paris.

• Godsend for parents to be with their kids more

• Inundation of sleep-induced hours for Salisbury Police and others on duty.

•Disproportionally affected folks at the NAACP.

• Chance to redesign and flip entire store at Caniche.

• A hold on yard sales, Greg’s Auction or buying any more stuff to give to consignment                                                                        shops later.                                                                                      

• Benchmark for making future-plans for preschoolers to graduates.

• Just another beautiful day for birds, bees and flowers.

•Blame for the demise of cussing other drivers while wearing masks.

• Supposition that it never happened — with help from your local ABC store

Clyde lives in Salisbury.

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