What should you do with leftover COVID-19 masks?

Here are some suggestions:

• A G.I. Joe parachute.

• A trumpet mute.

• Cover for dental surgery.

• Hiding your 5 0’clock shadow

• Use it as an excuse for not talking.

• A cushion for hand slaps.

• A wig substitute. Just add hair.

• A kneepad for gardeners.

• A screen for cutter downspouts.

• Stop up squirrel holes.

• A bad hair day hat. Just add a ribbon.

• An ear bag for jewelry.

• A bikini top. Make sure to use two.

• Hang it in a tree for a bird nest starter.

• Quilty squares.

• A mouse or mole hammock.

• A catch for fragile Christmas ornaments.

• Hand wipes.

• A sling shot for a tennis ball.

• A ping pong catcher. Just add a stick.

• A teenager silencer.

• A runny nose Kleenex holder.

• Pampers. Use two.

• Barbie sleeping bag.

• Hippo band-aid.

• Ladder stops for painters. Mini-Depends.

• Swaps for artists or doctors.

• To clog drains to give plumbers more work.

• Pocketbooks for elves. Just sew the sides.

• Fake futons for furbees.

• Spit holders for chewers and dippers.

• A pad under meat and fish in the grocery store.

• Ditty bag for drones.

• Goldfish scoopers.

• To shove in the mouths of telemarketers.

• Make a firefly lantern.

• Mops for milk spills.

• Butterfly net. Just add a long stick.

• Blister bandages for bikers.

• Perfect for silver polishing.

• Dr. Scholls wannabes.

• Picnic condiment holders.

• A wallet holder for hikers.

• Toilet paper for campers.

• A belt golf ball dispenser.

• Save for the next pandemic.

• A blind golf ball dispenser.

• Save for the next pandemic.

• A blind fold for children’s games.

• Squirrel diapers.

• Dust mitts. Add Pledge.

• Drool protectors.

• Nail polish protectors.

• A beer can koozie. Add tin foil.

• A funny bone protector.

• A fruit snack pouch.

• Collect them in tractor trailers, Richard.

• Packing for mailing dishes.

• Hook-on squeegee for window washers.

• Wind sock for small airports. Fold over.

• Hidden microphone or camera for detectives.

• Flip flop inserts.

• Chewing gum disposal. • Under arm dress shields.

• A hanger for used dental floss.

• Pads for cannonball displays.

• Fill gaps around windows and doors.

• Bookmarks.

• Show and tell in 50s years.

You might want to stock up in case of a shortage.

— Clyde 

Salisbury