I don’t understand drug and alcohol addiction. It’s not that I don’t possess the intellectual capacity or capability to, it’s that I just don’t have much tolerance for people who willingly put harmful substances into their body and then expect society to sympathize with them for the poor and irresponsible choices they’ve  repeatedly made. I know that sounds callous and harsh, but we live in a society that is short on accountability and personal responsibility, but high on the expectation that they’re owed something because of their personal failures. If I would rather a struggling senior citizen with diabetes get free insulin than someone who knows Narcan and clean needles are available, well then, I’ll wear whatever title thrust upon me.

What prompted this was a commercial that interrupted my TV viewing last week. I typically fast forward past these annoyances, but I watched this one. It was an ad imploring people to stop tobacco use by highlighting a man who had ruined his health after years of smoking and now regretted it. It didn’t have the intended effect on me, and I actually had an angry and annoyed reaction. I started my old man, get off my lawn rant about how these commercials are a waste of time as I climbed up on my high horse to continue. I wagged an imaginary judgmental finger at the TV and scolded the character saying, “Well you should’ve thought about that before you put that first cigarette to your lips.” I was so worked up I probably could’ve used a cigarette at that moment.

I don’t suffer fools very well or the idiocy they engage in. I refuse to let my gas tank of tolerance get close to the “E” before I fill up on the highest octane of irritation and respond. I recall having a conversation with my sons when they were in high school about avoiding trouble, the police, and the legal system. Their mother is a bit more lenient than I and said to them that if they ever got arrested, we would get them out one time only. Before she could put the period on her sentence, I interrupted and strongly contradicted this get out of jail free card. I told them that if they ever got arrested, they would sit in jail until they went to court. I explained that it’s not that hard to stay away from trouble, so I refused to give them an easy out. They’re all adults now and never got close enough to that line for me to worry about changing my mind.

Crack, powder cocaine, meth, heroin and alcohol all have an undefeated record against those who’ve tried to take them on. If you think you can be the first to be one and done, you better use Google to study statistics and view the array of before and after pictures. I won’t try to understand why anyone would  use it one time, but I can sympathize with those who do and then have the courage and discipline to stay clean. I have friends whom I admire and respect, that have chased the dragon and then fought off the demon, never using it again. But if you’re on decades of use, have been in an out of treatment facilities, caused your family pain and heartache, and continue to blame everyone else for your failure, then I have zero sympathy for you.

I’ve never smoked, never did illegal drugs and I stopped drinking all forms of alcohol in 1997. I did so for a couple of reasons. For the last 30 years, I’ve talked with young people about the dangers of drugs and encouraged them to make positive choices. How would it look if I was telling them one thing during the day and then slipping around at nights indulging in activities counter to my message.  I see too many people who fake the funk in public while talking out of both sides of their mouth. I recognize life is filled with hurdles and obstacles. Simply being a Black man in this society is challenging enough. It’s a constant fight to claim your dignity, respect, and manhood from those who would rather minimize your value. So, I want to always be in control of my faculties and at my cognitive best to deal with these harsh realities.

I applaud those who have overcome substance abuse but don’t expect me to feel the same emotion as you. I recall a tense conversation a few years ago when I told a recovering addict, I would rather take advice from someone who managed to not succumb to drug addiction. They argued that their firsthand experience qualified them. I replied that I didn’t need to get shot with a gun to know I didn’t want to get shot.

 

Kenneth L. (Kenny) Hardin is a member of the National Association of Black Journalists