By Elisabeth Strillacci
For the Salisbury Post

I usually, as most know, try to address the upcoming holidays in my weekly missive, and this coming week is Thanksgiving. It is a noble and family-oriented holiday that, strangely, is often a challenge for me.

Don’t misunderstand and think I am not grateful for all the good things life has either brought my way or helped me to achieve or for the health issues I have overcome. I am.

This is something different.

This is me trying to measure up to all the glossy advertisements for Thanksgiving dinner, the television commercials, the depictions in books, all showing or describing this massive gathering of family from far and wide who join around a heavily laden, huge dining table.

There are stories shared, voices competing with voices, laughter, shouting, hugs, and it’s all on this big scale.

I love it! I would love nothing more than to be a part of that scene.

But I am an only child, so Thanksgivings were never big. If there were more than five of us — my parents, grandparents and me — it was a lot.

So it has always felt like my Thanksgiving was the light version, and though there is always great food and good conversation, it feels like it doesn’t live up to the hype.

I realize that sounds sad, that I judge my own family holiday against the expectations set up by Hollywood and advertising. But I don’t have other real life experiences to set my own against, all I have is what I have been shown elsewhere.

Even having six children, because it is a blended family, it was still never a time when we were all gathered together at once.

This is not a sympathy grab, because we still gather together and have a wonderful meal, and laugh and talk. But it’s not a day-long event, and it’s not over the top like so many I see and hear about.

In addition, I try to practice gratitude every day, because I have so much to be thankful for, so much to appreciate, and I never want to lose sight of any of it. So having one day dedicated to giving thanks almost feels like cheating, like if I am really thankful one day in November, I’m good for the rest of the year. And I think not being more grateful year round is part of why we are not as kind and as caring as a society as we once were.

For those that have that Hallmark Thanksgiving, I wish you absolute joy. Indulge, have a grand time, but please take a moment to be grateful that you do have that.

If there are others like me who don’t know quite what to make of this day, know you are not alone. We are a bit conditioned to think if we don’t measure up to the portrayal of what any holiday should be, we are failing, and that’s just not true.

It can be so easy, just living our daily lives, to forget all the wonder and grace that comes our way every day. Whatever your plans are for the coming Thursday, I do hope it is a gathering of some of your favorite people, and however big or small your gathering is, I hope you know it is not necessary that it be perfect, just that there be love in the room.

I myself am going to do my best to give myself some of that grace, by trying to leave the expectations on the sidelines, by not being somehow disappointed in myself that I don’t need a 25-pound turkey to feed the multitudes at my table. I am going to actively work to be content with my small family, to enjoy the traditional foods that will be more than we could ever eat, and to connect with whomever is at the table and not fret over anyone missing.

This year, I’m going to work on letting Thanksgiving be a reminder to be grateful for what I have and where I am right now, and give myself permission to see my life as enough. And I hope you will give yourself that grace as well. The grace of knowing that what you have, who you are with (or not), where you are right this moment, is enough and is worthy of gratitude. There is always room for growth and improvement but it does not take away the value of the here and now.

And know that as I reflect on all I am grateful for, included in that is each of you, who are, if in no other way connected to me, part of my circle because you take the time to read the thoughts I share. And for that, I am truly thankful.

Elisabeth Strillacci is former editor of the Salisbury Post.