By Kim Porter

Dear Neighbor,

I believe I was in the eighth grade when I took a civics class. It was required and I enjoyed it because I sat by my girlfriend. At 13, I really didn’t know what civics even meant.

It didn’t take long for me to really get into this class. It was about citizenship, our rights and duties. I learned so much about my country, our values, why we exist, who we were and how we became a democracy and not something else. I became informed and was encouraged to become an active citizen.

At dinner one night, my dad asked about my school classes. I immediately jumped in with “I love civics.” Since I was not normally the most excited about anything but recess, he was a bit surprised. “Tell me about it, what interests you?” he said. I stumbled through some thoughts, some discussions, some topics. He seemed impressed. He liked politics and his son was learning about his country and what it meant to be a citizen.

After dinner, I asked my dad how people choose between being a Democrat or a Republican. He pulled a piece of paper out and listed what the government addresses: education, defense, law enforcement, healthcare, interior, transportation, environment, infrastructure, etc. He didn’t put them in any order of importance, just listed them. Then he said, “place them in an order, from what is most important to what is less important.”

He reminded me that all of them are very important, but that I might think one might be more important for me than another.

This took awhile, but I fumbled around with it and came up with an order. He assured me this was not a test, but just an exercise. There were no right or wrong answers, just feelings I had.

When I finished my list in order of importance, he looked it over and told me which party he thought fit my preferences. He reminded me that this was not a sure thing, just a shot at where my priorities were as an eighth grader and that therefore, when I eventually voted, I would probably lean toward a certain party. I also understood that what was most important was that I vote.

We had a great discussion — one I will never forget.

Now here is the rest of the story. When I stood up to leave, he reached out and grabbed my arm. “Son, none of these mean anything unless the person you are voting for has character.” He helped me envision what it meant to have character: courage, trustworthiness, honesty, integrity and respect. “Remember, no matter what someone says they will do, without character, they are not worthy of your vote. You must trust their actions over their words. If they show apathy, greed or condescension, you may want to think twice.”

Wow. This was heavy, very meaningful, very poignant, very moving, very powerful. I walked away thinking no matter what I might feel important for me and my country, my vote should be earned. We must be led by someone with character, not arrogance, not judgmentalness, not reprehensible behavior.

Now, whenever I vote, I am reminded of my conversation with my dad.

As the 2024 general election looms, even if I may not be overwhelmed by either candidate, when I see one candidate who takes responsibility for their actions, who is not manipulative and puts others, rather than their own views, first, I am moved to vote for them. Thank you, Dad.

“Dear Neighbor” authors are united in a belief that civility and passion can coexist. We believe curiosity and conversation make us a better community.