Ashlie Miller: My unsung hero

Published 12:00 am Saturday, May 11, 2024

By Ashlie Miller

What is the last movie you went to see that moved you to tears because it somehow was relatable to your own life? For me, it is the movie “Unsung Hero,” which debuted two weeks ago at No. 2 at the box office. The story focuses on the Smallbone family’s transition to the States from Australia in the Contemporary Christian Music industry. While that aspect gets the story moving, the unsung hero revealed in the story is the one who moves the audience to tears and to hope. She is Helen Smallbone, a devoted wife and mother to seven children.

As I watched the movie, I resonated with “Mom” — making the best of uncertainty and seemingly hopeless situations, speaking life and courage for her family’s sake, hiding frustration and fears while screaming them into a pillow. It hit close to my heart because most of us have experienced this as a mom or wife.

Then, I began to recollect memories of my mother, particularly during childhood. She was wed to my dad, who had a terminal illness, was widowed in her early 30s, co-parented on meager incomes, and watched her mother live with dementia. My mom wasn’t perfect. She would worry and have concerns; we, as her children, also gave her plenty to be concerned about.

I wonder when she had to scream into a pillow. I can recall that maybe twice, she got in the car and went for a drive to cool off, but I am sure she had other ways to release. I feel that connection deeply when I have had to do that myself — to escape smothering realities momentarily and to avoid overreacting regretfully.

I saw her grow just as I grew. I see myself growing, even as my children have grown. Mom and I started off as those hollering moms — you know, the ones that have to raise their voices to get their children’s attention. Thankfully, when my oldest was young, the Holy Spirit helped me grow in that area. If that was an area of weakness, so was my patience. I would say the same for my mom when she was younger. Yet, I witnessed growth in her and myself.

Do you see the pattern? Moms growing as they parent. God has a beautiful way of sanctifying His people. It can look different for one than for another. Not all need to be mothers to experience this. But, and I speak with some bias, there is nothing quite like the sanctification a mother experiences over the years as she submits to the process and her Lord. I realize the latter part of that sentence is not en vogue, yet there is no denying it. I know what I witnessed in my mother. Sometimes, friends, family, and even my children glorify God in their remarks of good character changes they have seen in me over time. That is enough.

Consider taking your unsung hero to the theater to see the movie this week. She will feel that you get her. If that is not possible, at least take a moment to reflect on their strength through weakness, allowing you to benefit from their love and care.

Ashlie Miller is in the process of sanctification in mothering five children. You may email her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

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