By Elisabeth Strillacci

Let’s talk words and language this week, since I’ve been doing a lot of reading and have been reminded, once again, how challenging the English language can be.

But let me say from the outset, while many of these I have long since known, there are one or two that were recent discoveries, much to my chagrin!

Why not start with the most recent lesson I learned, when my darling husband corrected me. (That, of course, annoyed the daylights out of me but I had to admit he was correct. He’s more of a wordsmith than even I am.)

I was not feeling particularly great several weeks ago and mentioned I was feeling nauseous. He very quietly said “I believe the word is nauseated.” Right he was. If something causes you to feel sick to your stomach, it’s nauseous. The correct use for both would be: “The spoiled milk smelled so nauseous it made me nauseated.”

Needless to say, I’ve gotten it right since then.

Since I used the word “it’s” in that last example, let’s talk about it’s vs. its.

“Its” is the possessive word, and it would be correct to say “That is its natural color.” “It’s” is the contraction for two words, “it is.” A correct use would be to say “It’s never going to rain again.” If you are at all unsure, substitute the words “it is.” If that works, you have it right. If not, remove the apostrophe.

This seems a good time to address two other common confusions: your and you’re, and they’re, there and their.

“Your” is, again, like “its,” the possessive form of the word. If something belongs to you, it is yours. “You’re” is the contraction, or combination, of the words “you are.” If you tell someone you’re going to the grocery store, that is correct. Just like the word “it’s,” if you are not sure, substitute the words “you are,” and if that works you know you’re good.

“They’re” is also the contraction for “they are,” and if you can use those two words to replace the one, you’re right. “They’re coming to the party but will be late” is correct. “Their” is the possessive, meaning it belongs to them. “Their cat is under our car again.” And finally, there is a location, a place that is not here. So, “Their cat is under our car over there again, and they’re not going to come get it.”

While we are on the track of personal pronouns, let’s finish up there with one of my top pet peeves: me vs. myself.

Of late, it has become common for people to use myself instead of me. I can only assume they think it makes them sound better, or perhaps more formal, but it grates on my nerves every time. The easiest way to remember when you can use “myself” is that you only use it when you have used “I” in the sentence.

For example, if you say “I did it myself,” that is correct. If you say “I saw myself in the mirror” or “I sent an email to myself,” those are also correct.

But to say “If you have concerns, email the director or myself,” that’s incorrect. Also incorrect is to say, “The fight was seen by my friends and myself.”

In those instances, the word to use is “me.” “Send an email to the director or me,” or if it is more comfortable, “Send an email to me or the director.”

You cannot correctly use “myself” if there is no “I.”

OK, let’s check out some other words that are commonly used interchangeably that shouldn’t be.

How about the difference between “disinterested” and “uninterested.” Being uninterested in something does mean you are not interested or curious about something. But being disinterested doesn’t mean you are not interested, it means you have no stake in it, no bias. Think of the word “interest” in terms of financial investment. When you buy stock in a company, you are purchasing a share or an interest. If you are not an investor, you hold no shares or interest, so whatever the company, you are disinterested, though you may be curious to learn about it.

Some get the words disburse and disperse confused. To disburse something means to distribute money, while disperse means to scatter or spread out.

One of the pairs of words many of us have trouble with is effect and affect. So here we go. Affect is a verb and it means to have an influence on. “The weather affected her mood.” Effect is a noun that refers to the influence. “The weather had no effect on my mood.”

Two other words often confused are infer and imply. The difference here is one is what you do, and one is what someone else does. You infer from someone’s comments that they are upset. Your friend implies that they are disappointed you are not coming. To imply means to strongly suggest or hint at a meaning, and to infer is to draw a meaning from something said.

This next one is still tough for me after all these years, I’m sorry to say. I still have trouble and have to stop and think about lie vs. lay.

But in truth, it’s more simple than I make it. Only a person lies down. If you put an object down, you lay it down. Hens lay eggs and mom can lay down the law. Where it gets confusing is when you are talking about a person lying down in the past tense, when you would say “she lay down yesterday afternoon.” The other exception is when lie refers to an untruth, in which case the past tense would be lied, as in “He lied about where he was last Thursday.”

The last one I’ll throw out there is capitol vs. capital, and this one is also easier than it seems. The word capitol refers only to a building, specifically the building where legislators meet. Capital is used in essentially every other instance, from the capital of the county or state to upper case letters to investment funds.

Thanks for letting me walk through these and remind myself of a few while I was at it. I hope the rest of your day is wonderful, that you’re doing something pleasant and it’s something that has a positive effect on you.

Elisabeth Strillacci is former editor of the Salisbury Post.