Helping parents was the purpose of the Back to School Parent Conference, said Rev. Dean Hunter, pastor of Central Baptist Church in Kannapolis, which served as host for conference.

The Aug. 24 event was the first time they have ever had this back to school conference, Hunter said, but one that he has wanted to have for about 10 years in order to help parents.

In addition to being the pastor at the church, he is also a board member of the Rowan-Salisbury Schools and noted that his wife is an elementary school teacher and has children in the public schools and said that “over the years, being a dad and board member, I’ve learned a lot, and one thing I’ve learned is that parents need help.”

Hunter expressed his appreciation to those who were very willing to be there to lead the sessions and those in attendance as he said their being there was proof they care about their family and students. 

The conference included two keynote events, one at 9 a.m. with Dr. Kelly Withers, Rowan-Salisbury Schools superintendent, speaking and a second at 11:50 a.m. with a panel discussion.

“I am blessed to serve as the superintendent of Rowan-Salisbury School,” said Withers, “and I love my job.”

In preparing for the event, she said she focused on the fact that “it takes a village to raise a child” adding that the parent is the leader of that village and shapes the child’s experiences.

Withers provided a succinct description of who she is, beginning with being a Christian, a mom of three, wife to husband Lee, an educator and superintendent.

“I grew up wanting to be a teacher and so this is one thing I tell parents all the time, talk to your kids about their future,” she said.

In high school however, she did an internship with an ear, nose and throat doctor and went on to earn a medical degree at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and worked three years at Rowan Regional Medical Center. 

But, just three months after she got married, her father-in-law told her of a job opening at West Rowan and went for an interview. She was offered the job and the “next thing I knew I was in a classroom. But I knew very quickly that was where I was supposed to be,” she said.

The next thing Withers shared was a question, “what’s your why,” or the why of our work.

These whys, which she showed on her PowerPoint presentation, were her family and students that she has taught throughout the years.

Some stories didn’t end well, and were devastating, noting one that had been killed, and others were special as she celebrated their weddings or a first day teaching, “all because we are still a part of their village,” she said.

Withers said her title is superintendent, but she was speaking as a mom and educator and shared some things she has learned both parenting her own children and as she has interacted with other children.

She began with a lesson for the littles telling how very important it is to both read to and with children.

“It’s important that they learn that reading is important and that the joy of reading is important,” she said.

Secondly, she stressed the importance of imaginative play which helps to build a child’s creativity, critical thinking skills and help to problem solve.

Sometimes, Withers said, “we get so trapped in our adult lives that we forget about that. We forget and put them on devices. Other times, we just forget that building in time for them to just be a kid and play is so important.”

Experience is another lesson for all children and making sure they have time to experience things was another lesson she shared, pointing out that the school system provides experiences for the students, including a trip to Washington, D.C. and CTE classes, and then stressed the importance of experiences at home such as walks in the community and talking about what is seen.

These experiences, she said, “help build context so they can understand things they are reading and it helps build vocabulary, which is super important when they’re reading.”

Another lesson, which Withers said is a new campaign, is “attendance at school matters.”

She noted that students not attending school is a nationwide epidemic and people aren’t sending their children to school everyday as they plan a trip on a Friday or a midweek appointment.

Directing everyone’s attention to one of the PowerPoint slides, she showed that when a student misses two days per month, they are missing 20 days per year. This equates to 30 hours of math instruction missed each year and 40 hours of literacy instruction missed per year.

Knowing your children’s friends was another lesson she stressed. She has encountered this through the years when parents came looking for their children but didn’t know names or addresses of these friends.

“In the name of protecting the privacy of their children, they forget safety,” Withers said.

So it is important to know the names and addresses, “but a lot of times parents don’t want their kids to think they are hovering. Some hover too much, but hovering is not hovering if it’s about safety,” she said.

She touched on one point about social media as she said it is very important to have a conversation about social media because even though parents might have rules about not allowing it, “if they have friends, then they have access to social media,” Withers said.

Children today are very concerned about how many likes they get or who is reading their post and these conversations are important.

She concluded her presentation sharing how incredibly important it is to just talk to your children and listen to them.

“Most children are very social beings once you get to know them and build a relationship with them,” Withers said. “And they need to talk. And it’s important even when it feels trivial. And when your child talks, listen to what they’re saying.” 

Attendees were given the opportunity to participate in three breakout sessions during the day.

One of those sessions was led by Carla Black, executive director of middle school with Rowan-Salisbury Schools as she addressed parents on the challenges of middle school. Her session, entitled “Help, I Have a Middle Schooler!,” provided information to help encourage parents as they assist their middle-schoolers through these years.

Sharing that she too was a mom and was “created to be a teacher,” Black told those in the “Help I Have a Middle Schooler” session that “there is no magic formula,” but did go on to tell them that “what we are as parents and as people who care about middle schoolers are keepers of the soul. We try to help them navigate their way through the complexities of the next three years” as various things change including their bodies, hormones and friends.

At this age, they are wanting more independence but aren’t quite ready for it, she said. “So, as parents you want to try to keep the guardrail up but let them have the steering wheel a little bit more,” which is hard because you know the dangers out there.

Black likewise shared those in her own village including her mom and sister and others who she has taught and those who have served as her challengers, calling her out on things as she was growing up.

She said it would be important for middle schoolers to have their own challengers as they are “beginning to form the identity of who they want to become.”

Parents will sometimes be that challenger, she said, noting that parents’ words are powerful and sometimes, they have to remind their child that they expect better of them.

After sharing about her own middle school years, Black shared multiple lessons that she has learned as a mom and educator beginning with “sometimes kids don’t believe what they can do. They believe what you believe they can do.”

Owning their own messes is another lesson she told the group. They are going to make mistakes, she said, but “it’s important that we allow them sometimes to just own it” and not always rescue them but teach them to work it out.

She also stressed that you need to listen to your children and not let them bring a problem to you without bringing a solution that involves themselves.

Establishing rules and consequences is another important lesson, which, Black said, is the “biggest kicker with middle school because they are going to test the limits a lot. Allow them to make the mistakes and suffer the consequences in a way they can recover from it.”

It’s OK to go without a phone or technology and disappointments and challenges will happen, she said, rounding the top lessons she has learned.

On a handout, additional information she passed along to parents included the need to support independence but stay involved, keep open lines of communication, monitor academic progress, encourage healthy friendships, teach time management, discuss online safety and encourage extracurricular activities.

After watching a brief video, Black said that their kids will be obnoxious, ungrateful and talk back and will make choices that are not good. But, she said, “continue to talk and listen and remember that they can make it through because of you. Hold them accountable, continue to do that and know that this is not ever going to be a perfect journey.”

Additional sessions available to attendees included: “What is Kindergarten Ready” led by Jill Hubbard and Laura Jane Hunter, who have 55 years of combined kindergarten experience. They shared what children should be prepared for in kindergarten and how to help develop those skills.

Dr. Natalie Atwell from Concord Counseling Associates presented on the topic of “Setting Healthy Boundaries” providing insights and strategies to help parents with creating and implementing those boundaries.

“Abuse, Exploitation & Trafficking,” led by Hannah Arrowood, executive director of Present Age Ministries,” addressed those three issues and that the awareness of these realities and strategies for avoidance is essential for parents in today’s world.

Officer Robert Carson, Kannapolis City Schools Resource Officer & DARE officer, spoke about “The Dangers of Social Media.” In addition to addressing the dangers of social media, he shared plans to help parents create guidelines for the child.

“Exploring RCCC & Career College Promise,” led by Emily Baldwin, director of recruitment and retention, provided information about CCP courses and all that RCCC has to offer the students.