Being together and having others to talk with that understand are two big takeaways from Carolina Caring’s “Grief Share Workshop: Surviving the Holidays,” said Andrea Haas, a bereavement counselor with the nonprofit healthcare provider. It helps them know they are not alone.

The workshop begins with the group watching a video, usually lasting approximately 30 minutes, followed by discussion, said Haas.

“It basically just really helps to have the power of community, other people who understand, there,” she said, as they talk about past holidays and what they will look like after their loss, how things will be different, thus providing them with ways to cope. 

Handouts are provided for attendees to take home with them, offering them tools and additional information, “but I think the big thing that most of them get there is just talking to each other during the discussion if they want to share,” said Haas. “It’s a great workshop.”

It’s a comfortable setting and most are willing to share and pass along ideas and brainstorm, but it is optional, she said.

And, she added, it empowers them to speak up and focus their attention on self-care and their needs for the holiday.

“It may look different than it has in the past, and that’s OK,” Haas said. “It’s OK to step away if you don’t want to do a holiday this year. You don’t have to force yourself to be in the Christmas spirit.”

Self-care can look different and ideas on what it could entail are some of the things participants brainstorm during the workshop, Haas said.

Some ideas of how to care for oneself could include starting new traditions, finding ways to remember their loved ones, making gifts and really focusing on things such as eating and sleeping well, taking walks and getting sunshine. Exercising and being outdoors also help, she said.

Being creative is a big one, she said, “really harness that creativity, because that is really known to help with grieving, and feeling those feelings. You have to let others know what you need,”

Winter and getting dark early can be hard even during good situations, Haas said, but adding grief to that and those special memories, makes it even harder. Therefore, they can see and in a way give themselves “permission to make the holiday different.”

Haas said those attending this particular workshop are usually those who are in their early years of grief and “they’re trying to establish a new normal;” however anyone is welcome to attend. They have had some that suffered loss eight years ago.

“There’s no timeline on grief,” she said. “Everybody’s grief is different. Anybody would be welcome.”

The workshop though is for adults, as it would not be appropriate for children, she said. There will be a program geared for children who are dealing with grief on Dec. 14 entitled “Grief With Glitter,” for ages 6-14. At that event, they will be doing more hands-on activities, making keepsake ornaments for memory boxes and other items for them to take home and share with family. 

The idea of using glitter, said Haas, who is the children’s counselor, is to show that just like glitter, grief doesn’t go away.

There is no limit as to how many can sign up to attend the Grief Share workshop as there are multiple locations. No one who has suffered loss will be turned away, she said.

For many, Haas said, holidays are hard anyway and when you are grieving and thinking about everyone being at home with their loved ones, “that stirs up a lot of feelings and emotions.”

When people are feeling a certain way and think because of it there is something wrong with them, Haas said, this workshop can help them to “validate their feelings and also empower them to do what they need to do for themselves,” and it can help for them to be together with others.

“Really it’s not what we present,” she said. “It’s them talking to each other.” 

This free workshop, which will be offered online and at four in-person locations, including Carolina Caring’s China Grove facility, 301 E. Centerview St., on Nov. 12 from 5:30-7:30 p.m. with registration required by Nov. 5.

Additional locations will be First United Methodist Church, 217 St. Germain Ave., SE, Valdese, and two other Carolina Caring facilities, 3975 Robinson Road, Newton, and 9735 Kincey Ave., Suite 202, Huntersville.

The online workshop, which will be facilitated by Haas, will be Nov. 7 from 5:30-7:30 p.m., using the Zoom platform. Registration is required by Nov. 1.

To register, go to CarolinaCaring.org/support, call 828-466-0466, ext. 3201 or email wspurling@carolinacaring.org.