By Ashlie Miller

Is Thanksgiving about giving thanks for what we have? “We’re blessed,” we say, often remarking on our surroundings and provisions. But this year, maybe we see other reasons to be thankful because of what is lacking. We really do know many who have lost everything — and that is not hyperbole. What do these people have to be grateful for? Better question — how are they able to seem happy after such destruction?

We were discussing gratitude at our home recently when my husband shared a quote and video from an interview with Michael J. Fox, the famous actor from the 1980s and ’90s, who has been living with Parkinson’s for 30+ years. Fox says: “With gratitude, optimism is sustainable. If you find something to be grateful for, then you find something to look forward to, and you can carry on.” A link between gratitude and optimism.

Later in the week, my children and I were studying a unit on giving thanks, comparing “happiness” and “gratitude.” How are they similar? How are they different? How are they linked? The illustration was vivid — observe most small children when opening gifts. You will likely see a pursuit of happiness chasing more happiness as they toss aside the unwrapped gift for what is still hiding beneath the tree. “Is that all? Is there another gift? Who is that other gift for over in the corner?” Gratitude may not be genuinely present beyond a parent reminding them to “say thank you.” And so, the child seems more spoiled and discontent than happy. Our lesson taught us that hunting for happiness does not successfully lead to gratitude.

On the other hand, many of us can think of a cheerful soul who leads their life with gratitude. Each day begins with seeing good gifts from above hidden in the middle of a tragedy or turbulence. The grateful person is the happy person. Or at least they are joyful since we know that happiness is based on circumstances, and joy is more profound.

But what about when you don’t feel like giving thanks? Or do you not like your present situation or the future on the horizon for an indefinite period? What then?

Consider what radio host and ministry founder Joni Eareckson Tada says about gratitude: “God isn’t asking you to be thankful. He’s asking you to give thanks. There’s a big difference. One response involves emotions, the other your choices, your decisions about a situation, your intent, your step of faith.” If you are unfamiliar with her, I encourage you to learn more about her story and the life-altering accident that led to a life of suffering and gratitude. It really puts this quote into perspective.

The idea that we are to give thanks to God whether or not we feel thankful is countercultural to us today. But I pray our friends in the mountains lead the way in giving thanks, letting gratitude be a lens that leads toward optimism, and blazing a path to something more than happiness.

Ashlie Miller and her family live in Concord. You may contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.