Some people are just born caregivers, and Melissa Robbins at United Way of Rowan County was one of those, born to make sure everyone in her orbit was taken care of.

Robbins had served just shy of 25 years with the organization when she died Jan. 21. Her death was unexpected, and has left both her family at home and at work in shock.

Her husband of 27 years, Gregg Robbins, with whom she shared two sons and a step-daughter, is by turns “doing OK” and not, understandably. Her parents and her children are still coming to terms with the idea she is no longer here. Her oldest son, Mark, is in the Navy and was set to deploy Friday, but has postponed it until next week. Her boss at the United Way, Executive Director Jenny Lee, is still working through the loss, as are Robbins’ coworkers.

A death leaves a gap, a void, even when it’s clear it’s coming, but when it blindsides everyone, it leaves the life boat feeling rocky and unbalanced.

And that is what Lee said Robbins brought.

“When we would be at an event, Melissa would stand in the back of the room, watching, making sure everything was happening as it should,” she said. “And I would be busy talking and taking care of speakers, but I always knew, because she was there, that everything was going to be just fine. As long as she was there.” Robbins’ steadying influence was pervasive throughout her world.

“Melissa was all about family, friends, her work and her church,” said her mother, Janie Mills. And her daughter wore her emotions on her sleeve, she said, meaning you always knew exactly where you stood. “She cried when she was happy, she cried when she was sad, she cried when she was mad. She had the biggest heart, and she loved the unlovable.”

Lee agreed, saying that Robbins took the time necessary to work with clients who came in to the United Way for assistance. Her compassion, patience and care were always in evidence.

However, she also was the one to make sure Lee stayed on budget when necessary. As the finance and operations director of the local United Way, Robbins made sure that the organization “had a clean audit every time,” and Lee said she “supported all my ideas while making sure I understood the constraints we had to follow internally.”

Through her years with United Way, Robbins had multiple responsibilities, including the Service Above Self and the Day of Caring, among others. And she approached each with the same level of commitment and enthusiasm.

Gregg Robbins described his wife and best friend as someone “who needed to be in charge, in control of everything, but it was OK because she was so good at it. She talked to her sons almost every day, and made sure she had everything lined up already for John, our son in college.” John was involved in a serious lawn mower accident when he was three years old, and at 19, almost 20, he is now a student at Catawba. Gregg said his wife “made sure he had everything he needed, and she checked in with them both frequently to make sure there was nothing they needed.”

Robbins had a strong personality, said her mother, and was a stickler for family traditions. When she was pregnant with Mark, the family started attending the light show at Tanglewood every New Year’s Eve, and they have gone every year since, she said. “Traditions were important to her.”

As was Arbor Church, Robbins’ spiritual home, where she was incredibly involved as well.

Her work family was just that — family. Ali Edwards, community outreach coordinator, lost her own mother at the age of 15, but found comfort in her relationship with Robbins. For Christmas this year, she gave Robbins slippers that said “Mama Bear,” and that is what she affectionately called her.

“She always made sure I was OK, and texted me multiple times during a day to say she loved me,” Edwards said, tears in her eyes.

Robbins had been having severe and chronic pain for several months due to sciatic nerve damage and Lee said the plan had been to let Robbins work remotely starting next week.

“I knew at home she could be more comfortable, because for weeks, she had been so upset with herself for not being herself, and I felt I needed to help.”

“The tenderness and the care she held for those in crisis I know was in part because she understood what it meant to have very little, but this was her calling, what she was meant to do,” added Lee. “She started at the Salvation Army, so she was on the front lines seeing people in crisis as well and she never forgot her own experiences or what she saw in others.”

Lee said she takes solace in the fact that this year the United Way reached its campaign goal thanks to a generous donation, and she “takes comfort in knowing her last year she got to see us hit goal, which we have not done since 2019.” She said Robbins had been through numerous changes, from the organization being in top form to making it through both a pandemic and a business crisis of sorts and then seeing the model nearly fail before it began to get on its feet again.

“No one is ever here for a paycheck,” said Lee. “Everyone here is here because of a mission, and Melissa was no different. She did such an incredible job. I had several sweet nicknames for her throughout her years here, from My Melissa to My Historian to My Money Honey, and she lived up to them all.” She said she often counted on Robbins’ knowledge of the organization’s history when she was planning things “and she always knew.” And she counted on Robbins to make sure Lee stayed inside the budget lines so things always ran smoothly.

Robbins was born and raised in Rowan County, graduating from West Rowan High School and Catawba College, then earning her master’s from Pfieffer University. Along with her husband, Gregg, her sons Mark and John and stepdaughter Tiffany Glöckner, her parents Forest and Janie Mills, she also leaves behind her sister, Shayla LeDoux.

“They had arguments growing up as all siblings do, but as they became adults they became very close,” Janie Mills said about Robbins and her sister.

A memorial service will be held Sunday, Jan. 26, at 4 p.m at the Arbor Church, 5545 Woodleaf Road, preceded by a chance to visit with family at 3 p.m. The family has asked that memorials be made to Shriners, who were so helpful when John was hurt as a child, to the United Way or to Arbor Church.