By Shavonne Potts
spotts@salisburypost.com
Toni Dotson never imagined she would feel heartbroken when she walked into the Hurley YMCA this week. But seeing the 81 pairs of shoes, each representing someone who died because of domestic violence did something to her.
Dotson, 16, a student at North Rowan High School, was overcome with emotion as she looked at the shoes representing the youngest victims of domestic violence ó the children.
The Rowan County Domestic Violence Task Force and Family Crisis Council of Rowan County held the annual Purple Shoe Memorial last Saturday at the Salisbury Mall.
The display continued Monday at the Hurley YMCA and Tuesday at Coburn United Methodist Church.
The display contains shoes ranging in sizes representing North Carolina women, men, children and responding law enforcement officers who lost their lives to domestic violence in 2008. This year’s victims numbered 81.
“I was amazed at how many shoes there were,” Dotson said.
The shoes ó purple for women and young girls and black for men and boys ó appear on the table with a description of how the person died, age, perpetrator and where they lived.
Dotson and her fellow students participated in the annual Domestic Violence Awareness Walk, which began at the Rowan County Courthouse and ended at the Salisbury Police Department at East Liberty Street.
The walk is held to remember those who died, those who survived and those who had the courage to leave a violent relationship.
“It’s been an honor for North Rowan to be a part of this,” said Leanese Woods, 17.
Woods said she believes more young people should participate in events such as this one.
She also said she feels that health classes should not only discuss reproduction but also domestic violence.
“We need to start at a young age,” Woods said.
“This is important and it really happens,” said Tyiea Jefferies, 17, of Spencer.
Jefferies said she participated because if she were in a violent situation, she’d want to know there were others who supported her.
“I’d want to know someone cared,” she said.
The future is uncertain, Jefferies said.
“You don’t know what our future holds. This is real life stuff,” she said.
Melinda Mitchell, 16, of Salisbury, echoed Jefferies’ sentiments, saying domestic violence “still goes on and it can happen anywhere.”
“We don’t know what our peers have been through,” she said.
Bonnie Graham, instructor for the early childhood education class, was there with 22 students who participated.
She said many of them would be future caregivers. This event was an important one for them to participate in.
Thomas Wyatt is program manager of Alternatives, a 26-week abuser treatment program for domestic violence offenders.
Most participants in the program are mandated by court order to enroll.
Wyatt sees the other side of domestic violence.
The program focuses on power and control management, he said.
It also deals with how the abuser asserts power through physical, psychological and economic abuse.
Although the program discusses anger management, it is not a focal point.
“We make them aware and how to get help,” Wyatt said.
The program teaches abusers how to change their behavior and how to better deal with their issues.
Many of the men who come to the program for treatment have themselves been victims of abuse.
“They still need treatment,” Wyatt said.
Wyatt is also pastor of Dorsett Chapel United Church in Spencer.
“We want to do our best to prevent domestic violence,” Jeanne Preisler said.
Preisler is executive director of the Family Crisis Council.
She said the agency is always looking for more volunteers.
The Family Crisis Council also provides a haven for battered women at its emergency shelter, court advocacy, education and support groups, even for children.
For more information about the agency, contact its 24-hour hotline at 704-636-4718.