By Whitey Harwood

Special to the Salisbury Post

If you live in Rowan County there are two things you got to love — the Salisbury Post and Rowan County government.

The Salisbury Post first: Friday night, the great little town of China Grove had Halloween in the Grove. I did not attend but I got a first-hand report from someone who did. He said it was the biggest thing since “The Hottest Day of the Year,” and a good time was had by all. Over 500 people joined in for the hay rides, with a multitude of kids trick or treating.

Was anything in the Post about it? Not a word. But in the Saturday paper on page 6A was a story, with mug shots, about “Two face prostitution charges.” When the police searched the house they found a man “allegedly sitting in a chair with his pants pulled down around his ankles.” The story didn’t say, but I just wondered, “Was he tied?”

You got to love the Post. I wish it was delivered twice a day.

Now for the Rowan County Board: This story was on the front page Friday. “County gets ample interest in parks master plan work.” The Hillbilly Hiking Club has taken an interest in it and would like to help out with a plan. This was in the story: “No specific cost projections are associated with the master plan yet.” I believe “yet” is the biggest word in that statement. We won’t charge you nothing, but if you would like to donate a couple of “Big 40s” it would be most appreciated.

Here is our plan. The first thing you need is a parks director. That is a person who manages or directs the parks, not just a person with a title. To direct means to control or regulate the affairs of; to command or order; to direct or tell someone the way. The way we got it figured, if you had a director you wouldn’t need to hire anyone; you would already have a plan. But it seems like you don’t, so we will get back with our plan. It’s only five steps.

1. Hire a director.

2. Let the director hire some honest workers who know what they are doing and are not afraid of their jobs.

3. Let the director and his hand-picked crew enforce them $50. littering fines. Turn that trash into treasures.

4. Ban all tobacco products. Don’t let the director be afraid of his job just because some of his “peoplesz’ smoke cig-a-butts or dip snuff.

5. Build a dog park and get the dogs there before some innocent, precious little child gets mauled to death by a pit bull at Dan Nicholas Park.

I was just joking about loving the board. It might be better if we just prayed for them. Bless their hearts.

Whitey Harwood of Rowan County is CEO of Hillbilly Hikers.