Today I’d like to talk about expectations: defined in Webster’s as some event one looks for as due, proper and necessary. Our lives start out with many expectations: learning to walk, talk, proper hygiene and the things necessary to live in this society. Parents have an expectation for their children to prosper in education further than they did so they can live a more fulfilling life.

The question arises: who sets the standards for what is fulfilling in another’s life? The same carries through with teachers in school and bosses you work for. They both want superior performance, believing this will benefit you as well as provide a better outlook for the school’s or company’s performance. Expectations are usually beneficial, but what happens as you achieve all others’ expectations?

The more one meets the expectations of others, the more is expected in your performance. Then when a fault occurs, the downfall seems to be tremendous. Not only do you feel as though you let everyone else down, you also start feeling as though you let yourself down. This may lead to emotional problems such as depression, addiction and separating one’s self from everyone to avoid more expectations.

We should all have the insight that Solomon had in 1st Kings chapter 3. Solomon, the great King David’s son, was given the Kingdom of Israel, God’s chosen people. He was a young man of 19 or 20 years when given this great responsibility, which included building the house of the Lord.

1st Kings 6:1, “And it came to pass in the four hundred eightieth year after the children of Israel were come out of the land of Egypt, in the fourth year of Solomon’s reign over Israel, in the month of Zif (May), which is the second month, that he (Solomon) began to build the house of the Lord.” This, as well as other responsibilities, came with great expectations. He was taking over for the great King David. How could such a young man deal with these expectations?

1st Kings 3:6-15 tells of Solomon’s prayer to God. God asked him in 1st Kings 3:5, “In Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream by night: and God said, ‘Ask what I shall give thee?”’ In 1st Kings 3: 9 Solomon dealt with these expectation: “Give therefore Thy servant Solomon an understanding heart to judge Thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this Thy so great a people?” Verses 12-14: God’s response: (12) “…. lo, I have given thee a wise and understanding heart,” (13) “…. I have also given thee….both riches and honour,” (14) “And if thou wilt walk in My ways, to keep My statutes and My commandments as thy father David did walk, then I will lengthen thy days.” He was rewarded with more than he asked due to his unselfishness.

You see, expectations not only come from your family, teachers and bosses, but also from our peers, even our church family. At church I found the more you do, the more is expected of you — and to a higher standard, as well. If you fail to meet the standards, you have a greater loss than if you’ve never met them at all.

This results just as with the others’ expectations, loss of the responsibilities you had earned. This unforgiveness, or thoughtless removal of one’s earned responsibilities, is one of the things that shrink our earthly church family. Thank goodness God forgives! If left to humans, there would probably be no church or leaders. We would destroy everyone’s reputation involved.

So trust in God, admit you’re a sinner, believe in the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. Ask God to forgive you and give you that same understanding and discernment that He gave Solomon. Don’t worry about others’ expectations, just do your best and know that God forgives.

God bless all!

Jeff Long lives in Salisbury.