Knowing that you are going to die can be a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, you can get your affairs in order, write letters to loved ones and, in my mother’s case, plan your funeral. However, every waking moment there’s the lurking realization that you’ve been told you will die — not in an existential sense, but for real.

This was my mother’s life. Why am I sharing this harsh reality? Because it has been ten years and I still have dreams about her that are so vivid that I wake up feeling guilty that I haven’t called.

On October 8, 2007, Joyce Faith Kneip passed away after battling breast cancer for three and a half years. She was my mother. I always found it ironic that she died of this particular type of cancer during Breast Cancer Awareness month. So why am I writing this ten years later?

I’m not a unique person, as many reading this have experienced loss. I’m also not a writer, although as a teenager I envisioned myself working for a newspaper. I even interned at the Salisbury Post my senior year of high school. Alas, I did not become a writer and instead am writing this because not only does it help keep my mother’s memory alive for her family and friends in town, but it connects me to the one place we shared — Salisbury.

When I graduated East Rowan High, I knew I was leaving Salisbury for good. Sure, I’d visit, but I had so much wanderlust that I saw a different future for myself. That future led me to join the military. Eventually, I married a military man, and together we have traveled — a lot. I visited Salisbury a few times each year, and showed my husband my favorite places, but I never imagined that my hometown would be ripped away.

Three years after my mother passed, my father also passed away after an unexpected heart attack. Seeing the sales of my childhood houses suddenly meant I had no physical “home” to which to return. Then I had my own children, and I felt pulled back there nevertheless. Not to live, as our “home” is currently up to the military. Instead, I felt a desire to show my children where I grew up and to explore my childhood favorites. We visit with family and longtime friends. Apparently, I bear a great resemblance to mom and this brings them some comfort. We go to Dan Nicholas Park, and ride all of the rides, walk around the pond, and feed the ducks. We’ve recently started to explore the N.C. Transportation Museum, taking train rides such as the Polar Express. Soon I will start taking my children to the big parades in Faith and Salisbury.

Each visit makes me feel closer to both parents and allows me to remember the happy memories I shared with them in my hometown. It also allows me to share a part of me with my children that could have easily been lost with their deaths. And, although I’m not sharing my childhood homes with them, I am sharing my childhood memories.

Wendy (Condrey) John is a Salisbury native, graduate of East Rowan, and former intern at the Salisbury Post. The military life has led her all over, and her family is currently in Las Vegas.