By Jessica Pautz

jessica.pautz@salisburypost.com

One year ago, my life was flipped upside down. After just two days of summer, my life changed for the better.

On the morning of May 8, 2018, I woke up numb on the left side of my body. I couldn’t feel any movement in my left arm or leg, as if I were paralyzed. I had a slight migraine and felt a bit nauseous. Once I threw up, that’s when my parents knew something was out of the ordinary and I needed to go to the hospital.

I thought it was food poisoning from a date I went on the night before. I was wrong and, come to think of it, that was the least of my worries. At first, doctors did not believe my symptoms were real and thought I was “faking” my pain. When I was 12 and wanted to get out of taking a test I didn’t study for, I would fake throw up or blow dry my forehead to make my mom think I had a fever. However, I was 20 and I knew when something was wrong with my body.

After talking to doctors and nurses, there was a decision to perform a CT scan. And about 30 minutes later, emergency practitioners apologized for their attitude because they thought I didn’t have much more time left. I was diagnosed with a 5-centimeter meningioma that was pressing on a major sinus vein in the back right side of my head.

Meningiomas are more common in women and are found in people between the ages of 40 and 70. So my diagnosis wasn’t too out of the ordinary, but it wasn’t normal to see a girl my age with a tumor this big. However, I was lucky that the mass came out benign.

The week of my diagnosis was the longest week of my life. I was in and out of hospitals and doctors’ appointments, went through three different medications and was not able to nap. If anyone knows me, they understand that I cherish my sleep. Yet with stress and steroids, sleep is problematic.

Even in the darkest times, friends and family are there to light the way. With my diagnosis, I never realized how precious life is until it is threatened to be taken away. One accepts the kind words, hugs and spending time with the ones who are closest. Treasure every waking moment until that day comes.

My day may have been May 21, 2018. My life was in someone else’s hands. I think my biggest fear throughout was that I wouldn’t be the same when I woke up a couple of hours later. That fear was conquered, and I can now say a year later that, “I am myself, and a better version of myself at that.”

Looking back at my life one year ago, I never thought I would be where I am today — about to be a senior in college and finally living my life to the fullest. I’m interning at the Salisbury Post for the summer, working at my favorite restaurant and surrounding myself with people who truly care about me.

I am a strong believer that everyone has their own path and that everything happens for a reason.

God gives the most challenging obstacles to the strongest people.

I know the tumor messed up a lot of my plans for my future, but I created new ones. Rather than studying abroad, I was in my first college musical, “Into the Woods,” as Little Red Riding Hood. I made new friends — lifelong friends at that — learned how to read sheet music properly, had the best 21st birthday, made the Presidential Honor Roll, won an award for being editor of the Catawba College campus newspaper and discovered what I want to do for a living.

Just because doors close and could slam right in your face doesn’t mean you’re done. You’re not trapped; you might feel stuck for a bit, but you’ll get out. Another door will open. You’ll see the light, and it’ll shine brighter than ever seen before.

Looking back, it might have been the most depressing time of my life, but I crawled out of that hole. I found my way out and made myself the person I’m proud to be today — fearless and able to take on the world and anything that’s thrown at me.

Plus, it’s not just me who can do that. Anyone can take themselves from a low point and become the person they dreamed to be. It just takes time, patience and believing that there is a bright side to the madness.

Jessica Pautz is a summer intern at the Salisbury Post and a rising senior at Catawba College.