Ol’ Blue lives to ride again
Ol’ Blue almost bit the dust the other week. Blue is my ’87 Dodge Ram pickup.
I’ve owned her (Meg says all vehicles are female, even big bruts like Blue) about five years. Blue has a 318-cubic-inch V-8 motor.
Her air conditioning quit working a few years ago, but her automatic transmission shifts flawlessly. I put a CD player in her, so we’re wired for sound.
Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen and Queen still thrive as long as Blue is rolling.
Blue really isn’t bad looking as far as 22-year-old pickups go. She still wears her original paint (sort of a bluish-gray, thus her name). She’s a shortbed. When I put new tires on her the other month, I got whitewalls because I thought an ol’ gal like Blue would look silly wearing blackwalls or white letters.
Old men, especially, love Blue. Over the years, I’ve had several ask if I was interested in selling her. Even a few younger yuppie guys have passed along compliments about her.
I keep Blue as an extra vehicle primarily because I enjoy building and I’m not afraid to throw lumber in Blue’s bed. She’s got a few scratches, though she doesn’t appear to have ever been abused.
But Blue almost became a has-been the other week when I heard of the cash-for-clunkers program whereby the federal government (a polite way of saying that you and I are footing the bill) would give me $4,500 for my pickup. $4,500?!?! Sorry, Blue, but loyalty only goes so far.
I test drove a Nissan Versa and a Honda Fit. The deals are pretty darn good, and this comes from a guy who has never bought a new car in his life. At one dealership, the papers were all but signed.
Ultimately, they weren’t, and while I may live to regret it, there are reasons I did what I did.
For one, I’m not sure how many 2-x-4’s I could haul in a Fit. Not a lot, I’m betting. And I’m a stickler for keeping my vehicles looking nice. If I scratched a new car with lumber, it’d bug me like nobody’s business.
There’s also the matter of five years worth of payments even on a car where I’m getting an exceptional deal. I’m told that Randy Gettys (this is a classic example, by the way, of the pot calling the kettle black) told one of my co-workers I was so tight I made Abe Lincoln squeal when I parted with a cent.
But the real reason I decided not to get rid of Blue came when I heard what the dealers are required to do with the vehicles they take on cash-for-clunkers trades. Have you heard this?
They’re required to drain the oil, then crank the vehicles and let them run until the motors seize. In other words, sans oil, the vehicles sputter for a moment, then go through the equivalent of a human’s death throes.
Could I do this to Blue? Dang, I’m serious when I say the thought of it bothered me.
Besides, I need something for hauling lumber.
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When not puttering along in vehicles that would shame any self-respecting human being, Steve Huffman writes for the Post. Well, for a little longer, anyway.