By Whitey Harwood

Merle Haggard wrote and recorded this song, “Are The Good Times Really Over,” in 1982. The first line
of the song was, “I wish a buck was still silver.” He was singing about the good old days and things he
remembered. He also had some wishes. He wished a Ford and a Chevy would still last ten years, like
they should. And, he wished Coke was still cola.
Evelyn Uddin-Kahn wrote, and the Salisbury Post published this My Turn “Our Holy Days” in May 2023.
In her write-up she had some wishes, and she remembered a time in this country when shops were
closed on Sundays. Wonder how the atheists like that? She wished we didn’t have sales on “National
Holidays.”
She said we are more supportive of capitalism then patriotism.
That reminded me of a joke I heard one time about marriage. Do you know the three rings of marriage?
First you have an engagement ring, then you have a wedding ring, then you have suffering.
So, I guess if you have capitalism, then patriotism, then you have vandalism.
You can read it for yourself in the Salisbury Post, “Vandals Desecrate Flag Display in Lead Up to
Memorial Day.”
In Merle’s song the main question was “Are the Good Times Really Over?”
In Evelyn’s write-up she asked several questions. I hope to answer one of them now – Veteran’s Day
Sale. Who are they?
Well, first off, it’s not for people on active duty. That one is “Armed Forces Day.” It’s celebrated on the
third Saturday in May, not on November 11 th .
Now, it don’t matter if you joined the military or were drafted, you are a Veteran.
If you spent 30 years in service or just barely made It through basic training, you’re a Veteran.
If you shot darts in a day-room or shot a rifle in the jungle, you’re a Veteran
If you received an Article 15 or a Purple Heart, you’re a Veteran.
If you wore clean clothes every day or wore your clothes ‘till they rotted off you, you’re a Veteran.
If you ate three hot meals a day or didn’t eat anything for days, you’re a Veteran.
If you had a hot shower every day or didn’t have a shower for a year, you’re a Veteran.
If you carried a clipboard or carried one of your buddies off a mountain in a body bag, you’re a Veteran.
If you got kicked out of a beer joint in Germany or kicked out of a helicopter in a war zone, you’re a
Veteran.
And it really don’t matter if you spent most of your days killing time or killing other human beings,
you’re still a Veteran.
But most Veterans are not “combat veterans!” There is a great big difference. About 95%,

Merle and Evelyn shared some of their wishes with us. Now I would like to share some of mine.
I wish the people drivin’ them Fords and Chevys would use their turn signals. I wish they would learn to
maneuver a four-way stop sign, and I wish if they are gonna drive 40 in a 55, they would use the “right”
lane like they’re supposed to.
I wish “Reach Out” was still just a number one song for the Four Tops. Evelyn asked who started the
Columbus Day sale, and I would like to know who started “Reach Out” for a telephone call or any other
way of contacting someone. It’s time to let that go ‘cause you done wore it out!
I wish the new Sheriff, the RoCo Bored of trophy grabbers, the City of Salisbury, and the town of Granite
Quarry could comprehend that littering is illegal and that releasing balloons is littering. It’s way past
time to put a ban on that. It should have been done years ago. I also wish the Mayor of China Grove
could understand it, so he could turn it over to Landis.
I wish besides the twenty-something “National Holidays” she (Evelyn) listed, she would have brought up
“Earth Day” and “Arbor Day.” Two very important holidays. And, what happened to Martin Luther King,
Jr. and Juneteenth? They are official holidays.
How could you forget Groundhog Day and Sadie Hawkins Day? Here goes you two more “holy days” –
Corn Hole Day and Holier-Than-Thou Day.
I wish when I say “Thank You” to someone, they would say “You’re Welcome.” “No Problem.” What
does that mean?
I wish everyone could be as helpful as the ladies at Ralph Baker Shoes, as friendly as the Produce
Manager at Harris Teeter, as nice as Amy at the Corporate Office, and as special as K.C. and her Sunshine
Band (of chickens). Sometimes they give double yokes.
Tim McGraw remembered “Back When” a hoe was a hoe. I remember when Spanky said, “I wish Cotton
was a monkey.”
I remember when men pitched horseshoes and didn’t play corn hole.
Evelyn remembered the unicorn at St. Patrick’s Day. So, I remembered a joke about a unicorn. What do
you get if you cross a cow with a unicorn? Horned Beef.
Here’s one I made up for the St. Patrick’s Day Sale. What did the leprechaun say when the unicorn fixed
him a tuna sandwich? Hey, there’s something fishy goin’ on here! Where’s the beef?
So, before we all start drinking that ‘free Bubble Up’ and eatin’ that ‘Rainbow Stew,’ let me answer one
more question.
Easter – month long sale – What would Jesus say?
Jesus: “No Shoes? No Shirt? No Problem. Let’s go to town so I can buy you some.”
Shoeless Man: “But, today’s Sunday.”
Jesus: “What’s that got to do with the wages of a school teacher in New York?”
Shoeless Man: “Well, I just thought …..”

Jesus: “You let me do the thinking and you do the thanking.”
Shoeless Man: “Thank you Jesus.”
Jesus: “We need to find a store that’s having an Easter Sale so I can save enough money to buy some of
my homeless friends a pork chop dinner or at least a ham sandwich.”
I’m “Wishin’ and Hoping” that I was able to answer some of your questions.
No need to thank me. You’re welcome.
Keep on Smilin’.