By Ashlie Miller

Beautiful routines have been developing in my home with my best friend. We occasionally meet on the front porch together, often with our books in hand, to read separately or to observe the environment. We may or may not interrupt each other with conversation, but mostly, we end up in the same place, sharing space and presence.

Towards the end of 2020, my husband and I looked for ways to spend time together since we could not get away from home for many dates. We developed a new weekly routine of late-night tea time. Sure, we enjoy the little treats we would not usually indulge in, and tea is quite comforting. Still, more than that, it is simply having that uninterrupted time together. Sometimes the time includes reflections on the day, but the goal is to focus on each other, not even the tea.

Lately, now that we have teenagers who can manage, we sneak away once a week in the early mornings for coffee (for him) and tea (for me). These usually have an intentional purpose of looking at our calendar for the week, looking for ways to be productive, and talking about matters of importance.

These frequent, regular meetings did not occur with the expressed purpose of strengthening our relationship. They naturally happened because we enjoy each other’s company and can’t get enough of each other. There are times we seek each other for company and different times of intentional scheduling. Our focus is not on the words we will share; it is on shared time and communion, enjoying each other’s presence, and growing closer together. Making time for each other grows organically because we genuinely enjoy time together.

In the book “A Praying Life,” Paul Miller (no relation) compares our prayer life to a family meal — time together, no rush, enjoying each other’s company with laughter and discussions. We often approach our prayer time, if we even have one, as a duty, a daily checklist, or a Christian discipline. But, as Miller points out by sharing Revelation 3:20, God wants something more wonderful for us than that: “If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” Yes, he wants a relationship, but the God of Heaven also wants to feast with us! He is not waiting for us to approach with a perfect prayer framework, although those can be helpful. He simply sets the table and opens the door for us to spend time with Him.

Prayer is one of the most neglected works of the Christian, maybe because we look at it as work. In modern, hurried times where eating a meal is just a duty and necessity, we do not know what it is like to feast with a friend, slowing down, relishing the moment and the company.

All great, big things begin with a small step. What would happen if you took a small step to slow down, lean in, and find a small moment to talk to the King and Creator today? It may start with spending time with a close, earthly friend and tasting what that type of relationship is like. As I said, beautiful routines have taken shape in my home with my best friend, actually, two of them — my husband and my Lord!

Ashlie Miller and her husband, Chad, live in Concord. You can contact her on ashliemiller.com.