I believe in the future they will call this the dark times — lots of unhappy people, lots of violence, huge inflation, unrest between family, friends, cities, politics, countries and the world. But one thing I learned from my mom is that you need to find joy in all the things you do, and find joy in things that are happening around you. Being a baker’s daughter, we had to work when we could walk. There is nothing wrong with that, it wasn’t the child labor you might be thinking, it was doing chores as part of our upbringing. Yes, we worked very hard, but our family played very hard too. It made me who I am today. Working at the Y for almost 27 years, I have come in contact with so many people. Most of them are amazing and kind. Of course you have some of those where they find their joy in their own and your misery. I try to steer away from them very quickly. However, I hear many life stories and it doesn’t matter if someone is financially very stable or unstable. Terrible things happen in everyone’s life. In the book of joy by the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu, the following two quotes from the Book of Joy (which I highly recommend) resonated with me:

“We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of pure joy.” And another one; “Discovering more joy does not, I’m sorry to say, save us from the inevitability of hardships and heartbreaks. In fact, we may cry more easily, but we will laugh more easily, too. Perhaps we are just more alive. Yet as we discover more joy, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters. We have hardship without becoming hard. We have heartbreak without being broken.”

Do I have bad days? Absolutely! Those days, I try even harder to look for positivity and joy in my life. It gives me great joy to bring joy and laughter to others. So many times when I have a bad day, teaching one class will get me out of my bad mood. I have written about positivity and keeping your chin up, in the past, and you truly can change your brain. Another great read and self-help book by Dr. Daniel Amen “Change your Brain, Change your Mind.”

This past Friday would have been my mom’s 90^th birthday if she would have been alive. But on the same day, I just celebrated my 16^th anniversary with my husband Kevin! There are times you have to look really hard, or even have to look for days, even weeks, but it is doable. And of course talk to your doctor if this is something you cannot conquer yourself. There is nothing wrong with that! In my work, most unhappiness stems from body issues — anywhere from weight to injuries and wear and tear. My mom died from melanoma that had metastasized in her lung, but she was in the fitness center at least five days a week up to about six months before she died. Not really knowing it was the melanoma cancer in her lung (she thought it was age related), she would say (translated from Dutch), “I have to keep giving in every year,” after she would sigh “but I will keep doing my best.”

So look for joy in your life. Focusing on all the bad, and there is a lot of that at the moment, quickly gets you focused only on the bad. Writing them down has helped me in the past. What is good in your life? What is bad in your life? Can you change the bad in your life? Maybe you can, maybe you can’t. I am going to close with my go-to prayer. Part of the serenity prayer: “Dear God, please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, please give me the courage to change the things that I can, and please give me the wisdom to know the difference.”

Have a fabulous weekend and look for joy in your life. I will. Hubby and I celebrating our anniversary at the beach!

Ester H. Marsh is director of healthy living at the J.F. Hurley Family YMCA.