By Kenneth L. Hardin

I have no idea what it feels like to be a “single childless cat lady,” so I have no right to condemn, criticize or demonize any woman, who either by choice or biological circumstance, doesn’t have any offspring. I’m confused as to why this is characterized as something negative and worthy of being branded with a scarlet letter of sorts by a Trump acolyte. But, just like men enacting legislation to control women’s reproductive health rights, our white male dominated patriarchal society feels as if they have the authority to disrespect women and call it progress all in the best interest of society. Excuse me, but I’m going to need to throw out the red flag NFL coaches use to challenge a questionable call and label this trend nothing more than a bunch of bovine excrement.

I posted a comment to my social media page last week that seemed to get some men’s frilly undergarments ruffled. They engaged in a lot of “what-about-isms” and a total rejection of my simple, easy-to-understand statement. It read, “Just a friendly reminder that when you say ignorant things about women in power, they don’t hear you, but your daughters do. Your mother does. Your sisters hear you and your nieces hear you, too.” What part of that statement would provoke anyone to have such a visceral reaction that they engage in back and forth, pseudo intellectual banal banter disguised as verbal defense? The statement was cautioning the current members of the old Little Rascals TV show’s “He-Man Women’s Haters Club” to be aware of demeaning and debasing women you don’t know because they will never hear it, but those impressionable women close to you will. Still, some found it so hard to let go of their perceived gender superiority that they couldn’t find the message. I often tell people like them that they’ll starve by focusing on the doughnut hole instead of seeing the whole pastry.

I’m a defender and protector of women because they, especially female Africans in America, are the most disrespected, unprotected and put upon. Although I’m not a fan of Vice President Kamala Harris, the statement I shared was in defense of her for the unwarranted, unnecessary and undeserved racially tinged criticism and disrespect she’s received from Republicans and their party cult leader since taking over the Democratic presidential ticket. How can she be deemed low intellect, a diversity hire and unqualified for the office when she has a law degree, served as a prosecutor, was California’s attorney general, a U.S. Senator and vice president of the U.S.? We should question those men who are truly unqualified but hold positions because of nepotism, and daddy’s fat bank account.

There’s a political commercial airing steadily of another misguided male that has even garnered attention outside of our state’s boundaries. I received a call from a military friend now living in Las Vegas. Immediately after dispensing with obligatory pleasantries, he asked, “Who is this Mark Robinson clown?” I was a bit surprised that he was even aware of him, but he explained how many people in the 505-area code were shaking their collective heads in disgust at him. In the commercial, the candidate for governor wags an insensitive, judgmental finger at expectant mothers who want to terminate their pregnancy without giving consideration if they were sexually assaulted or whether it could be detrimental to their health. The arrogance he displays in blaming women for “not keeping their skirts down” shows you he has bought into a bigger lie than the stolen election fake news falsehood.

I didn’t have to watch the recent body cam video of 36-year-old Illinois sister, Sonya Massey, being shot in the face at close range by a sheriff’s deputy because it is nothing more than a sad repeat of a sordid movie being played on a continuous loop. There is no new or fresh territory here when names like Sandra Bland, Beonna Taylor, Michelle Cusseaux, India Kager and hundreds more whose lives were taken under questionable circumstances in dealings with police come to mind. It’s started a national movement, the #SayHerName campaign, but is that enough to stop this scourge of deadly disrespect? We must do more than simply march, chant, sing, pray and then go back home after two weeks when we’re no longer shocked and outraged. I recognized it’s a nearly insurmountable, herculean task after a conversation I had two years ago with a local law enforcement leader. As we were discussing the gun violence in the African community here, he stated, “I know for a fact we’re going to end up shooting one of these young Black boys, but we’re trying to clean up this mess. The Black community wants our help, so I don’t want to hear a bunch of complaining when we do.”

I’ve shared that comment with many people in this city, who don’t look like me, and not too surprising, there’s not much reaction. After replaying that cold and heartless statement in my head and the none too surprising apathetic way the otherman responded, maybe there is room for “what-about-isms.” What if we simply stop looking at irrelevant and incidental physical characteristics like gender and ethnic composition, and instead treat everyone with respect, civility and basic humanity?

Kenneth L. (Kenny) Hardin is a member of the National Association of Black Journalists.