By Kenneth L. Hardin

“Now there was a time when they used to say that behind every great man there had to be a great woman. But in these times of change, you know that it’s no longer true. So, we’re comin’ out of the kitchen ’cause there’s somethin’ we forgot to say to you. We say sisters are doin’ it for themselves…”  The opening lyrics of the 1985 hit song belted out by the late Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, and Annie Lennox, lead singer of the Eurythmics, could’ve been applied to a recent event held at the Veterans Social Center. On Oct. 5, 60 female veterans, female spouses of veterans and special invited female guests came together for an empowerment luncheon at the facility. In the nearly three-hour session entitled, “Mind, Body and Soul,” this assembly of strong sisters from different generations were truly doing it for themselves as the event was closed to male participants.

When I came up with the idea for the event, I made the mandate that it be female led and only women invitees. I ensured all the promotional literature indicated as such. I wanted the attendees to feel they could have open discussions and enjoy camaraderie in a safe environment. There was a little push back when I explained to the male veterans there that the facility would be closed on a day normally filled with testosterone coming from the large flatscreen TVs showing college football games. On the day of the event, a veteran spouse showed up with her husband in tow. I met them at the front entrance and politely explained that he wasn’t allowed to come in. I chuckled when his wife turned to him and said, “See, I told you.”

The Volunteers and I went to work a month and a half before the big day. I stressed to them that although we had already hosted two luncheons a month all year, this one was the most important we’ve undertaken. I assembled a small committee consisting of the female Volunteers and sat down with them to toss ideas around about how this would develop. My only input was that I wanted it to be fancy with fresh cut flowers on every table, linen table cloths and nice table settings. I then tapped out and allowed the female Volunteers to work their magic. While they handled the set up and menu, I created promotional flyers, designed custom pink t-shirts and even sketched out on paper how I wanted the tables to be set up. I lined up speakers I felt could bring informative and inspirational messages. I also reached out to individuals and businesses who would participate in our pre-lunch networking session.

To stay true to my initial commitment that this be female led, I enlisted one of my nonprofit’s board members to host and facilitate. Dr. Gwyndolan Swain kicked off the event by welcoming the women-filled room. She then called Salisbury City Council member Tamara Sheffield to the podium. Sheffield brought a rousing and motivated greeting on behalf of the full city council. Swain introduced me, where I shared the history of how the Veterans Social Center began, examples of many of the philanthropic endeavors we engage in to serve and care for the Rowan County veteran population, and how our facility has developed into the success it is today. During my remarks, I polled the audience with military-related background questions. Attendees were asked to raise their hand if they were a widow of a veteran, the person with the highest rank, the person who served the longest, multiple generations of service from the same family, female veterans who had served in more than one branch, the longest married couple and several other categories. Starbucks gift cards, T-shirts and Merle Norman gift bags were some of the prizes given out. Afterwards, I relinquished the mic and turned the session over to Swain. The only other male allowed in was William Marino, co-owner of the Merle Norman Cosmetics Spa & Salon. His business partner and wife had appointments scheduled, so he pinched hit for her. Marino shared information and tips on effective skin care for women. He gave the attendees discount coupons, free facial gift certificates and treat bags with skin care products.

We took a break from the speakers and enjoyed a delicious meal prepared by Shaina Newton of CityFoods Catering, LLC. We served pulled pork, deep-fried turkey, potato spuds with onions, butter beans with turkey meat, six-cheese Mac bites, lemon pepper broccoli, butter rolls and Butterfinger, chocolate and blue raspberry cakes. Culver’s  restaurant provided 90 individual cups of custard ice cream with fruit toppings. Deborah Neely provided each attendee a gift bag with a piece of jewelry from her business that was placed at their table setting. Each attendee was given a metal coin with the inscription. “Thank you for your service.” Each presenter received a larger gold coin.

After lunch, Nina Dix of the Shelter Guardians organization and who trains service dogs for veterans, shared information on that service line. She explained the difference between emotional support animals and certified service dogs. She was followed by Ester Marsh, who serves as the director of fitness and healthy living at the J.F. Hurley YMCA. Marsh brought a fun, engaging, high-energy and interactive presentation that had all the attendees exercising in their chairs. She took them through breathing and better posture exercises as well as tai chi and stress-reducing exercises. Marsh was followed by Penny Greer-Link, who heads the Women Veterans Health Department at the Salisbury VA. She introduced Dr. Amy Smith, military sexual trauma coordinator, and their presentation included information on gender-specific healthcare and nilitary sexual trauma.

Bree Stallings, a Mary Kay Representative, led a lively discussion on the top 10 myths associated with skin care. She got the room fully involved as she asked questions, dispelled myths, and corrected improper skin care habits of the attendees. Sherry Smith, Housing Manager at the Rowan Helping Ministries, shared great information on available programs and services the shelter offers to veterans and civilian families. Swain wrapped up the slate of speakers by sharing specifics of her role as the director of the graduate and undergraduate health administration degree programs at Belmont Abbey College. She received applause from the room when she shared that veterans receive a 40-percent tuition discount.

As attendees were leaving, several shared how much they enjoyed the event and said they hoped there would be another one offered. A second session is being planned for early next year in a larger venue to accommodate more women.

Kenneth L. (Kenny) Hardin is the founder of the Veterans Social Center.