By Kenneth L. Hardin

For some odd reason, people frequently reach out and ask to engage me in extended conversation. It baffles me because I don’t think I’m that interesting of a person or possess any special or unique qualities that would appeal to the masses. I’m sure Denzel is not up at night pacing the floors of his mansion worrying if I’m cutting into his fan base. Yet people still seem to want to jump off the highest diving board into my head and swim around. What typically ends up happening is once they take off their flotation devices and splash around in the deepest recess of my mind, they realize they should’ve paid attention to the  “No Swimming” signs erected at the frontal lobes directly behind my forehead. There are days when I get scared being inside my own mind, so I can only imagine the reaction when people delve too deep with me and get that reality check. But they still come.

I have a large social media following and I’m very easygoing most times. I caution people that I’m only social media friendly but in real life I don’t enjoy most social interactions. While I don’t suffer from multiple personality disorder, on any given day, I might display a wide range of varied faces online. There are days I wake up feeling silly and will share nonsensical memes and videos that border on the ridiculous. Another day, if I’m feeling nostalgic and sentimental, my softer, more vulnerable side will show as I reflect back to simpler times in my life. When my political and social justice personalities emerge strong, I’ll go off on tangents and rants calling out weak Knee Grow leadership, the absence of resources in certain communities and a void in general common sense in those who abandon their conscience, community and constituents in favor of access and inclusion.

In a conversation with a local elected official last week, I shared how so many candidates mislead the public when campaigning by pretending they’ll fight for the people, but then only fight and defend the entity they were elected to hold accountable. There are days my ancestors awaken the fight in me and I’ll unapologetically embrace my culture and acknowledge my history and heritage. There are instances when my online page has had to have a parental advisory label because I go hard, passionately and unapologetically  on topics I believe or recognize the idiocy in. I’m willing to spill the tea and have called out people by name if they’re living foul in private but pretending to be an arbiter of truth in public. The interesting thing is not one person who’s cowardice I’ve exposed has ever accused me of being untruthful, but they’ve excoriated me for putting them on blast. So, do you see how difficult it is to be paying a daily mortgage inside my head? People connect with anyone of those faces and feel a connection so they reach out without truly knowing who I am.

I’ve had people from all over this country and from other parts of the world send me messages wanting to initiate conversation, but I very rarely respond. I made an exception last week, when I engaged in a friendly and cordial three day back and forth with a nice middle-aged mother who lives in southern California. I sent her links to Cheerwine and we discussed cherry-flavored soda recipes she could make dishes with to share on the left coast. She shared with me the struggles she’s endured with childhood trauma, a young pregnancy, her son’s multiple suicide attempts, overcoming drug addiction, successful therapy and how she overcame it all with a strong belief in God, her personal strength and a determination to maintain her dignity. I told her how proud I was of her journey and what an amazing and inspirational story she had to share. After a few days of correspondence, the conversation drifted towards race and politics and that’s where the story comes to an abrupt conclusion. Sadly, so many chapters in my life have come to a similar immediate end because of a misguided and dangerous belief they all shared. As we touched on the upcoming presidential election, I emphatically stated that if I’m aware of anyone’s belief in and support of Trump, I’ll sever all contact and end the relationship. I explained to my new friend that I had ended 40-year relationships with two military brothers I had been close to because of their support for the traitor. With one, I had introduced him to his wife, stood in his wedding, mourned along with him after the death of his parents and had his family in my home with mine.

When she acknowledged she supported him, I said, “Au revoir” and decided to bounce. In my goodbye message, I explained that during my entire life, I hadn’t had an easy time dealing with racism in this country. I shared with her how I had been assaulted physically three different times by racists, discriminated against in jobs, denied buying a house in Spencer, refused service in a restaurant here, treated poorly in my current veterans business and been on the receiving end of some of the vilest, threatening and hate-filled language all based on my skin color. I went on to explain that not only has it impacted me, but it’s also impacted my family. Three of my brothers, who married interracially, have been racially harassed to the point one left the country, moving to England over 40 years ago and has vowed to remain there. I ended my message with how Trump directs hate and encourages physical violence against people of color, how he treats women and how he mocks people with disabilities. So, I’ve made it very clear and haven’t wavered that if anyone believes in or supports him, I have no use for you.

There’s nothing difficult about me to figure out. I just stand for something.

Kenneth L. (Kenny) Hardin a member of the National Association of Black Journalists.