By Kenneth L. Hardin

For the Salisbury Post

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

I used to share that quote often as I walked the halls for over two decades at large academic medical centers, community-based hospitals and physician clinics teaching doctors, nurses and all levels of staff how to offer the highest in patient satisfaction. As I sat at bedsides holding the hands of those taking their last breath in this world, I used it as a foundation for ensuring they knew their final transition was not being faced alone. It was my core belief two decades ago just as it remains today that no one should ever have to laugh, cry or die alone. I cemented it with a personal mission statement that I would try to impact someone’s life in a positive way every day.

I kept that personal mission and infused it into the mission and purpose of the Veterans Social Center 2.5 years ago. We compassionately and respectfully offer free services to those who honorably wore the uniform and are now faced with mental health challenges such as PTSD, depression, loneliness, traumatic brain injury or those having difficulty transitioning back into civilian life. But if you believe it’s only a place where our local heroes can come to shoot pool and watch TV, then you’re not familiar with all we offer. An unexpected interaction Tuesday night shows that our services are not confined to the physical structure at the West End Plaza or limited to our afternoon operating hours. It also highlights the caring and compassionate people we have volunteering with our nonprofit organization. I’ll refrain from sharing personal information that identifies the veteran to show him the utmost respect and confidentiality.

Growing up in the AME Zion church, I’ve heard the phrase, “God works in mysterious ways” quite often but never gave it much thought until now. Anyone who knows my schedule understands I turn my electronics off at 7 p.m. each night and I don’t power them back up until my normal 3 a.m. wake up time. Shortly after hitting the off switch, I’m already counting sheep. For some mysterious reason, last night was different. I received a call from a childhood friend who shared tragic news of his teenage grandson being killed by gunfire in Greensboro. After the call, instead of going through my electronics use cessation process, I checked my messages. At 8:23 p.m. Tuesday night, I received an inbox message from a veteran in crisis. He shared specifics of recent personal tragedies that had occurred in his life involving the untimely death of two immediate family members, feelings of isolation, a lack of a friend and family support system and ever-increasing challenges with PTSD. He wrote that he wasn’t getting adequate support from the Salisbury VA, the Rowan Hospital and a physical encounter with local law enforcement that left him confused and frustrated.

He added to his written message that he had been on the phone with the Suicide Prevention Lifeline and had worked out a safety plan but was still considering taking his life. I realized the seriousness and time sensitivity of the matter but knew I wasn’t properly rested and in the right mindset to offer the level of care he needed and shouldn’t be the one to contact him. I reached out to one of my volunteers, Carolyn Logan, who I knew had the skills, expertise and past experience to effectively assist the veteran at the late hour. I forwarded his message with all the information I had received as well as his cell phone number. As Ms. Logan engaged the distraught veteran in conversation, we initiated a continued text thread. As she shared specifics of the conversation and his demeanor, I texted back strategies, information, available resources and encouragement to share. Ms. Logan talked with the veteran continuously for an hour and a half on the phone while simultaneously texting me with updates. She allowed the veteran to vent and share all the things that were frustrating and challenging him. He acknowledged that he was a disabled veteran living in a rented home without heat. He shared difficulties communicating with the landlord who lived in Charlotte. He discussed his disappointment with the Lifeline call saying it felt scripted, insincere and rushed. Although she was making progress and the veteran shared how appreciative he was for her, he made a statement about a specific time later that night he was planning to commit suicide. I texted Ms. Logan, instructed her to get his address and to tell him we would be sending a police officer to conduct a welfare check. 

An hour into the call, at 10 p.m., I reached out to Salisbury Police Chief Patrick “PJ” Smith, to seek his guidance and assistance. He answered his cell phone immediately and I shared what was transpiring. The chief was very calm and immediately went into crisis recovery offering a plan of action on how to address the issue with expediency. He contacted the Rowan Emergency Communications Operations and they sent two Rowan County Sheriff’s deputies immediately out to his home where they made contact with the veteran. Over 90 minutes after first contact, the issue was brought to a peaceful conclusion. Chief Smith and I sent a series of follow-up closure texts until almost 11 p.m. He shared they would re-contact the veteran again the following morning. When the two deputies left, the veteran called Ms. Logan back, thanked her and told her that he had made up his mind to kill himself, but God had sent the right one to call her. This is indicative of the kind of spirit Ms. Logan has and that was why I called her. When asked why he reached out to me and the Veterans Social Center, the veteran told Ms. Logan he had been scrolling through Facebook and happened to come across our page. After looking at the content, he sent the message because it was “my last hope.” 

On Saturday, Nov. 2, from 2-3:30 p.m. at our facility, we’re partnering with the Wake Forest University School of Medicine’s Northwest Area Health Education Center (AHEC), to teach a certification workshop on Suicide Awareness and Prevention. The training is free and open to the public. This is a great opportunity to learn valuable skills to address those going through these mental health challenges such as this Veteran was Tuesday night. Seating is limited, so please RSVP to thehighroad2021@gmail.com if you would like to attend.

Kenneth L. (Kenny) Hardin is the founder of the Veterans Social Center.