By Kim Porter

Dear Neighbor,

Have you ever thought of how risky it is to just live? Think with me for a moment. Look at your life and ask yourself “is it risky, just to live?” I know it could be a foolish question, but I truly believe if you are living, it is risky.

Take your life today: are you eating preservatives, have you driven over the speed limit, did you work out too long at the gym, are you drinking the city water, are you married, have you had kids, did you adopt a pet, are you overweight, have you traveled to another country lately, have you locked your front door, is there mold in your basement, attended a demonstration or vigil lately, did you get in a political argument this week, do you read, have you volunteered in your community, have you joined a reading group, have you signed up for Facebook?

Well, I have done all of those things and more. And everyone of the above is a risk, but I did them anyway. Even though I could be hurt physically or mentally I decided — yes, my choice — to risk it all and jump into this dangerous, complicated and weird world.

And I have a choice on everyone of those normal things I call “risky.”

So, what are the options? In every freshman/woman course I taught in college, I listed two words on the board the first week of class: Exist and Live. I then asked the class to define them for me. They came up with very healthy answers. In their eyes, it boiled down to “making a choice, or not.” That was the difference between the words — to live I make choices, I involve myself — to exist meant no engagement — someone will tell me what to do, what to say, what to think and how to live. But if I observe, think, step outside my safety zone and make choices — I live, and not exist. That meant for a student making the decision to live was truly a choice. They could learn, grow, develop, engage, express, think and participate in life. Or, was it to exist (keep your head down, get the green card (graduation), get a job, make money, etc). It was a choice. Do you genuinely involve yourself or just float through life and hope all turns out well.

How I live today is extremely important to me. It may make a difference in who I am and what I might do. It may change my future or destroy it. It may help me grow or take away my learning. It may provide life for others or take the oxygen out of the room.

But I honestly do not believe that I should just exist. If I just exist, someone will change my diaper (make choices for me) all my life; but is it living?

To exist may mean I vote the party line. To live may mean I look at the individual and vote the “character” line. To exist may mean I don’t put a political sign in my yard, because it may upset my neighbors. To exist may mean I am afraid, and then turn to safety as a way out. To exist could mean that I just do not want to risk saying anything.

Living means engagement. I personally never grew out of the “why” stage. No matter what is said to me I continue to ask why. My mother would say, “Kim, you are going to run out of words.” To this day I am curious. I do not want to sit on the sidelines, I want to risk being involved. I know life is risky, but I am not alive if I just exist, and I want to be alive.

Curiosity has taken its toll on my life. It has positively manipulated me into learning new ideas and thoughts. It has reminded me to listen, in order to understand. It has given me an avenue to “be.” Don’t get me wrong, I do get blasted, noted on Facebook as radical, and do some extremely worrisome and risky things. But I cannot stand on the sidelines when democracy is at stake, kids’ lives aren’t even safe to go to school, and politicians continue to say we are doing all we can do.

Part of living for me is to go beyond my comfort zone. It is risky and I need to take my limited knowledge and massage it into wisdom.